


A Justifiable Arrangement

by irena_adler



Series: Watson [4]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: First Time Blow Jobs, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:56:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5236880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irena_adler/pseuds/irena_adler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colby is shocked by a revelation from David, then even more shocked at his own reaction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Justifiable Arrangement

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place _before_ "A Week in Watson".  Thanks to my betas.

Originally published: 02/04/08 

**Title:** A Justifiable Arrangement  
**Pairing:** David/Colby  
**Rating:** NC-17, FRAO  
**Summary:** Colby is shocked by a revelation from David, then even more shocked at his own reaction.  
**Challenge:** Written for the [](http://numb3rs-newyear.livejournal.com/profile)[**numb3rs_newyear**](http://numb3rs-newyear.livejournal.com/) challenge, for [](http://angst-queen-98.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://angst-queen-98.livejournal.com/)**angst_queen_98**  
**Author's Note:** This takes place _before_ "A Week in Watson". Thanks to my betas.

 

  
**A Justifiable Arrangement**

It had all started with idle conversation, the type of conversation FBI agents have after the third ten-hour day in a closed-up van, staring at the back door of an unremarkable house. Colby and David had long since worked their way through sports, movies, politics, favorite cities, childhood terrors, and the physical attributes of various females. They'd also read their supply of magazines, newspapers, and food-wrapper labels.

Sprawled across the chairs, the hum of crickets and lawn sprinklers playing on the speakers, Colby asked David, "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

David eyed him, tension around his eyes. "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

"First time you fucked a girl, what else?"

"What else?" David said with a smile, his face easing. "Thirteen."

"Damn," Colby said. "I was seventeen."

"Whitney James," David said, his smile widening. "Friend of one of my older sisters. She thought I was cute and I was always, um, big for my age."

Colby laughed. "I bet you were. I was, too. But Becky Langenford held out on me for quite a while. Finally, she met me after wrestling practice and I had my family's van." His body started to grow warm at the memory.

"Was it good?"

"It was fast," Colby said, flushing, "But I was hooked."

"Me, too, for both of those," David grinned.

"Damn, thirteen..."

"She was seventeen and had real breasts."

Colby thought about how amazing Becky Langenford's small breasts had felt under his hands and he shifted position, trying to ease the discomfort growing in his crotch. _Damn, it's been too long since I've gotten laid._

David looked at him for a moment, his eyes considering. Then he said casually, "Now, I was almost seventeen when I first fucked a man."

Colby jerked and almost fell off his chair. "What?"

"Roger McNamee had the sweetest ass."

"What?" Colby stammered. He rose from his chair, his hand automatically on his gun. His heart was slamming against his chest. "What?" He meant to slowly scoot a short distance away, like from a wild animal, but somehow he found himself against the back wall of the van, as far as he could get from David. All his training said to act casually, not let his fear show, and he fought to control his panic.

David grinned at him, looking like he was enjoying Colby's reaction.

"You're gay?" Colby asked tightly.

"And if I was?"

"But... that girl in the morgue and whatshername at the community center."

"Okay." David smiled. "You got me. I'm bi."

"B-bi?"

"Bisexual, jarhead." David shook his head. "It means that I like to have sex with both women and men. It's been mostly women in the last few years, but..."

Colby stared at him, struggling to hide his horror. How could he have so misread someone? He'd been working with David for a year and he'd never had the faintest idea... They'd become very close friends, but he hadn't figured it out. Shouldn't there have been some signs?

David was watching him, his dark eyes dancing.

"Why?" Colby blurted.

"Why, what?"

"Why, you know, with guys?"

David shrugged. "It's fun, it feels good. What other reasons could there be?"

"It's... wrong!"

David tilted his head to one side. "Is that what you really think? Or is that just the army indoctrination talking?"

"That's... that's what I really think," Colby said, his voice sounding unsteady even to himself.

"Okay, then," David said. "Forget I said anything."

"As if I could!"

David gave a wry laugh. "You were in the army. One thing that teaches you is how to ignore things you've been told not to think about."

Colby begged, "C'mon, man, you're just jerking me around, right? This is all some big practical joke?"

David's smile vanished and he shook his head. "No joke."

Colby didn't say anything, just continued to stare at David.

Seemingly oblivious to Colby's gaze, David picked up the sports magazine he'd brought along and began to read it again.

_God, no, David..._ He felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. Like he'd just been told his best friend was a spy. _But it's not as bad as that, is it?_

Colby looked down at his feet, it was easier than looking at David. David now seemed to have a pulsing aura around him. _The aura of bisexuality? That aura that you thought you should have noticed?_ He knew, logically, that there was no such aura, nothing that made a gay or bisexual person look different, or even _be_ that different, except in who they loved.

David hadn't changed. He was the same guy that Colby went out with for beers, played basketball with, ragged on if he was late with a case file. He was still Colby's best friend.

But for the first time, David was surrounded by _possibility_.

Colby shuddered again and swallowed hard against nausea. That was the problem. Not what David was, but what Colby--

Colby dug his fingernails into his palm, filling his mind with the sharp pain.

_I love women, I always have. Women are everything I'd want. I haven't hooked up with a girl in a while because I've been busy, that's all. New town and everything._

But he had ‘hooked up' with someone. With an anonymous mouth in an anonymous wall that he could always find. He'd pumped his orgasm out into a condom held between two firm lips that had never seen lipstick. He'd just done it once in LA, worried about his FBI clearance. However, the ache had been growing in him lately to go back. He always went back eventually.

Colby'd traveled all over the world and he'd sought out glory holes in every place he visited. He'd told himself that it was because he enjoyed the furtive, illicit act of a blowjob by an unknown mouth. But if he was totally honest with himself, a big part of the appeal was that he didn't know the gender of the person on the other side of the wall. The idea that he could be being sucked off by a man always buzzed him. He told himself it was because the idea disgusted him. He'd always been good at lying to himself.

_No, no, no..._ Frantic, Colby cleared his mind, practicing all the mind-controlling tricks he knew. His heart was racing and he concentrated on slowing it down. He counted the beats, followed his breaths, tracing with his eyes the seams on his shoe.

He sat down on the floor, trying to look like he'd done it because it was more comfortable than standing, as opposed to the fact that his legs had given out. An hour passed. The van was quiet except for the occasional turn of a magazine page. If David was stressed about his revelation, he was doing a good job of hiding it. Colby was struggling to hide it, but his body was on overdrive. Every time he got his heart rate down, his hands stopped shaking, he'd flash on some idea, some image, like a condom held between two dark lips surrounded by a goatee, and his body would panic again.

Colby couldn't sit on this floor forever. At some point he was going to have to talk to David, have to acknowledge David's new-exposed identity.

"A 'Jarhead' is a marine," Colby said, his voice strained.

David looked up. "What?"

"Jarhead, you called me a jarhead," Colby repeated, not meeting David's eyes. "'Jarheads' are marines."

"Oh," David said, his eyebrows raised. "Okay."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm alright with you being, you know..." Colby said stiffly.

"You sure aren't acting alright with it," David said.

"I'm, um, just a little... surprised," Colby said and his eyes slid to David's, then quickly away.

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

"I am."

"Bullshit. Look me in the eye and tell me you're okay with me being bi."

Colby swallowed and took a mental grip on himself. He'd lied to David before, he could do it now.

Colby met David's dark eyes and said, "I'm okay with you being bi."

David held his eyes for a long moment, then a grin slowly spread across his face. It was a triumphant grin, an excited grin,... a hungry grin.

"What?" Colby snapped.

"I'm bored, Granger. I'm horny and you're the closest warm body."

Colby's hard-won control shattered. _"What?"_

"Why don't I come over there and suck you off?"

"What? No way!" Sweat sprang out over his whole body.

"Why not?" David said, setting down his magazine. "Don't tell me you don't like a blowjob, I wouldn't believe you."

"Of course, but--"

"You'd suck yourself off if you could, any man would."

"Yeah, but--"

"I'm a helluva lot better than you ever would be."

"Stop it!" Colby growled, his heart hammering. "We're on the job! You know, surveillance?"

David shrugged. "They're sleeping in there. The system will warn us if there's any change."

Colby stammered, "We should keep a watch, that's what we're here for."

David's eyes were hot on his skin. "Maybe that's not what I'm here for."

"You're kidding me, right?" _Please be kidding. Please let this nightmare end. I can't I can't I can't... Please..._

David seemed to hear his plea and hooded his eyes. He shrugged. "I can be kidding if you want me to be."

"Yeah..."

"Okay," David said. "I'm kidding then."

Colby stared at him, feeling perversely disappointed.

David leaned back in his chair and Colby felt like a physical pressure had lifted. Colby gasped, now able to breathe. But his brain was on fire.

"That's it?" Colby snapped. "You wind me up than say, ‘never mind'?"

"I'm sorry, man," David said sincerely. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Forget I ever said anything."

A rush of anger came over him. He couldn't forget it. Dammit, he didn't _want_ to forget it. How could David promise such things then take it back? Colby wanted... and was angry for wanting... and felt a shaking, irrational rage take him over. The need that drove him to glory holes was now a bone aching hunger. He'd never needed anything so much in his life. And David had said ‘never mind.'

"Fuck that," Colby snarled. "If you're really fucking sorry, you'll get down here and put your mouth to work."

David gaped at him, then quickly stood up.

His brain aflame, Colby settled himself back against the pile of Kevlar vests and unbuckled his belt. He yanked open his jeans button then grabbed for the zipper. His hands were shaking so hard that he could barely work the zipper. He tried to look down but the van seemed to shift around him.

David's hands took his away from his crotch. He was kneeling over Colby.

"Are you sure about this?" David asked quietly, cutting through the haze.

"No!" Colby snapped. "I'm not sure about any fucking anything but that I have the hard-on from Hell and you said you'd take care of it!"

David eyed him uncertainly. _He's taking too long!_ Colby knew he was really going to panic any second now. Colby reached out and hooked a finger in David's open mouth and pulled it towards his groin.

"Now..." Colby growled.

David didn't need any more encouragement. With deft movements, he quickly had Colby's zipper open and underwear down. His hands were cold on Colby's aching cock. Colby gasped and clenched his hands into fists at his sides. David pulled a condom from his back pocket – when had he put that there? – and deftly sheathed Colby's cock.

Positioning himself between Colby's legs, David lay on his stomach and propped himself against Colby's pelvis. He licked a long stripe up Colby's cock and Colby gasped at the hot, wet touch of David's tongue. David took a better grip on Colby's cock and trailed his tongue around the sensitive head. Colby pressed his lips together to avoid more gasps. Sucking the head into his mouth, David began working Colby in earnest. Colby instantly knew that he was in the hands – and mouth – of a master.

Colby wanted to close his eyes, put his head back, and imagine a woman was between his legs. But he couldn't shut his eyes, couldn't break his gaze from David. He was mesmerized by David's pink tongue, dark lips, skillful hands. His goatee tickled Colby's aroused skin. His fingers caressed Colby's balls in a way that no one ever had. Unexpected flashes of pleasure pulsed through Colby's body, adding to the hum of pleasure in his pelvis, building into an overwhelming orgasm with the inevitability of a boulder rolling down a mountain. He clenched his fists until his fingernails dug into his palm again. He pressed his lips together harder but the moans still echoed from him, filling the van, overlaying the slurping sounds from David.

David took one hand from Colby and unzipped his own jeans. He pulled out a dark, long cock and began to stroke it in time to the motion of his mouth on Colby's cock. Colby groaned out loud, unimaginably aroused by the sight of David jerking himself off.

_No, no, no._ Colby tried desperately to hold back his orgasm. Some irrational part of him said that if he didn't come, he wasn't enjoying this, wasn't sick. He put his hands on David's head, meaning to push David away from him, but instead just rested his hands on David's smooth scalp.

Finally, he was able to close his eyes. But there was no forgetting who was in between his legs. Colby began thrusting his pelvis upward, his up strokes meeting David's down strokes. His orgasm was so close...

"No," Colby gasped. He felt David stop, began to pull away, but Colby's traitorous hands jerked David back close, his traitorous body pumping more vigorously against David's mouth.

David gasped around Colby's cock, his body shaking, and white cum spurted out of his brown cock, dripping down his trembling hand. He sucked hard on Colby's cock.

Groaning helplessly, Colby broke and a scorching orgasm tore out of him. It burned from his toes to his head, cauterized his nerves, reduced his brain to cinders. He jerked against David, who held on tightly, riding Colby's body, his familiar lips accepting Colby's cum and drawing out more.

Finally, they lay together, panting. David's cheek lay against Colby's hip. Colby slowly stroked David's head.

_That was so right, so good, so--_

"Oh, God," Colby whispered.

He pushed David aside and scrambled to his feet. He raced to the front of the van, his clothing still wrapped around his thighs. Urgently, he rolled down the passenger window then vomited his dinner out the window. He heaved, again and again, like a terrible echo of his orgasm.

When he was done, gentle hands pulled him back from the window, wiped his face with a moist towelette, removed his used condom, reassembled his clothing.

Colby sat, shuddering, as David wiped down the side of the van, rolled up the window and checked on their surveillance. Slowly, Colby began to calm down. _This really wasn't that different than a glory hole. Isn't it safer than anonymous sex, anyway? It didn't_ mean _anything._

"You okay, man?" David asked quietly.

Colby nodded. "Yeah, no big deal, right?"

David eyed him.

"I mean it was good, yeah," Colby said quickly. "Incredible good."

"Damn straight," David snapped.

"But we're just bored and horny," Colby finished. "That's all."

David raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say, Granger."

"Not like it's gonna happen again."

"Why not?" David asked.

Colby gaped at him. "Because, because..."

"You saying you're never gonna be horny again?"

"No, I..."

"Do you think I randomly go around giving blowjobs?"

Colby flushed. "No."

"Then don't fucking tell me ‘no big deal.'"

"But..."

David's face softened. "Look, Colby, I just mean that you're my friend, my partner. I trust you. You're not the only one who stands to lose here. The FBI isn't exactly understanding of guys like me."

_Not like me,_ Colby told himself firmly. _I'm not like that._

David continued, "I just think that you and I... that we could have some fun. There's nothing wrong with fun, right?"

Colby swallowed and managed a casual shrug.

"Granger," David whispered, unexpectedly emotional. "There's nobody else I trust."

Startled, Colby met David's eyes. That made some sort of sense... And Colby was desperately looking for anything that made sense. And anything that meant it was okay for David to touch him like that again.

Slowly, he nodded.

Hope began to grow on David's face.

"But not like this," Colby said, his self-preservation instincts finally kicking in. "Only at a hotel, or in some place where we're not gonna get caught. Or at least we should set up some precautions, some warning system."

"Yes, yes," David said eagerly.

"And never at our apartments, too many people could stop by."

"Okay," David said. "I can buy that. And maybe next time..." David trailed off, leaving the idea unfinished. Still it hung in the air between them. _Maybe next time he can be on the receiving end._

Quite against his will, Colby's mouth started to water. He'd never... never... but it was better than David going somewhere for anonymous sex, right? Safer. David was his partner, it was Colby's job to keep him safe. This was just another safety measure. Colby eagerly seized on the justification and began to build walls against the fear, against any other emotion that might overwhelm him. _No big deal._

Colby shifted, settling himself back in his chair, back into surveillance mode. Nothing had changed, no life-long barriers had been breached.

David's question still hung in the air and Colby gave David a smirk. "Next time, I might, Sinclair, if you're good and lucky."

David flashed him a huge grin. "Good? Ain't no one better." He continued to grin widely, but the finger that reached out and stroked Colby's cheek was trembling. "As for luck... Right now, I think I might be the luckiest bastard in the world."


End file.
